Today Tracy and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. I cannot stress enough that behind every good pastor is a good spouse. I say spouse because both men and women can be pastors. I am quite confident that my wife has a special place in heaven when it comes to being a supportive wife. Tracy knew since she was a teenager that she wanted to be a pastor’s wife. To this day Tracy and I have yet to raise our voices in a full out argument. We have had our disagreements but what family doesn’t? These past eight years have been great in our marriage. We have been everywhere and done a lot of things. Three times to Grand Cayman Island, New York 4 or 5 times, out west, Tracy has been to Argentina, Florida multiple times and this year includes a one week camping trip to southern Illinois and a week in Washington DC.
Tracy came from the picture of stability in churches and to this day is a church I admire. It was over one year later that Tracy saw me go through a storm in my ministry career. She had a crash course in the ugly side of church politics and how ugly boards can be. Just a year later she saw me go through another thing at the church here in Waupaca where I question if the former staff were even Christians. We had a staff meeting (our last one with the old team) that left my wife crying because of the verbal pot shots taken at me. Thank goodness for good friends that went to bat for me. There was a time that I wanted to drop out of ministry and not be a pastor anymore…it was Tracy that kept me going and encouraged me daily.
I have seen people drop out of ministry because their spouse is not supportive. If you plan on going into ministry…it is very important your spouse is just as excited as you. I am not saying they have to work with you on everything. My wife is a registered nurse and works full-time. She helps and supports me in ministry but does not do my work. I have seen some pastors that if it was not for their spouse…their ministry would be completely unorganized and blown apart. We have the understanding that she has her work, I have mine and we do them. It really makes me a better pastor because it causes me to be well rounded in organization and pastoral skills. I know of one senior pastor that I mess with….his wife basically does everything except preach so I ask, “so who does the church make the check out too?” lol. No matter how you do it in ministry…make sure your spouse is supportive.