There seems to be a mindset that if you are not a part of this family or a relative of so and so or college buddies with that group that you may be accepted into friendships but you will never be IN. It is like a group of lifelong friends all of a sudden meeting someone new and letting them into the group. You are in but you are not IN. Always remember that those who gossip to you will usually gossip about you.
This is the reality I faced in ministry which is fine, we are all only human and we get along with who we get along with. After the second difficult time as a youth pastor and becoming a "senior pastor" the opportunities I once had to get involved in different events were dwindling quickly. I honestly think it was because I was no longer working for a who's who. This proved to be beneficial though because I got locked into things that weren't going anywhere while God was loading the bases for more outreach and coaching.
Once again God took a kid that was the first in his family to become a pastor and used me once again in a great way. Last year I was a speaker for a ministry at Cornerstone Music Festival in Bushnell, IL and now this year I have been asked back to be a seminar speaker. To be honest with you I am freaking out a bit! This is a crowd of free believers from all walks of life and for me to share with them thoughts from my upcoming book is quite honestly a scary and humbling thought. To each seminar speaker (only 6) for this 30,000+ person event we each get our own carny sized tent with a few hundred seats. I am thankful to God for what he is doing with me and I owe it all to being faithful as best I can to God with no personal agenda on who I can get in close with in order to be with the "in crowd".
God really does take nobodies and make them some bodies and out of spite to prove that pastor wrong...I have asked my brother on multiple occasions to share in front of large groups. Side note...that pastor's church has since shut down.